When a girl asks you to take her out for a steak, you say “HELL YES.” That is all.

This is how I imagine the call going… I never got her number, so this can’t possibly happen, but “what if?” I do remember her name, though. Maybe she’ll remember mine. She’s a friend of a friend of a friend.

Enjoy the silence.

Michelle and I are going to a Halloween party together as Adam and Eve, or ancient Grecian guy and ancient Grecian girl. I don’t know what I was thinking when I agreed to this. We’re wearing togas. Don’t ask me why. It’s all her idea. Michelle is no Meg Ryan, but at least she’s the only BFF I’ve got in this world.

Georgia is in heat. She’s going crazy. I’ve never seen cats in heat before. I never had pets growing up really. A mouse that my mom killed. Some beta. A cat that ran away when I was 6. Since Clair, I’ve had quite a few pets. Carl the Teddy Bear Hamster who died late last year, then Devon, Nemo (my beta that died while Heather was around), and now Georgia.

Moving to New York seems more of an option with every waking moment. I’m securing interviews and looking for places to live. This move is going to be costly, but there’s really nothing holding me back here anymore. I really want to stay in San Diego. I really do. But I can’t wait. I want the rest of my life to start as soon as possible, and it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen here. She said she was so glad I waited for her, but damn, girl, how long am I supposed to wait? I wish decisions like this weren’t so hard. I wish people were strong enough to change. I wish people wouldn’t hide in fear from being themselves. I miss her with every breath I take.

So with my new websites, some capital for my business coming in, and contract money, I can support myself and my babies for a few months until I start remodeling the house. Teak floors, area carpets, a light tan-colored wall. Also the walk-in closets and the new bathroom will be a nice touch. I’m going to do that crazy thing with 8 shower heads.

Moment of Zen:

I am NOT going to New York to meet some woman who could be a crazy, sick lunatic! Didn’t you see Fatal Attraction? …Well I saw it and it scared the shit out of me. It scared the shit out of every man in America.

KT, if you’re reading… Yes, I’ll go to the boys’ soccer game this weekend.
And kt, If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you/When mountains crumble to the sea there will still be you and me. –Led Zeppelin

I met a girl named Tim last night dressed as Dorothy Gail (from the Wizard of Oz). She had glass slippers and told me that she didn’t have time to find ruby red slippers. I told her in the original novel, the slippers were silver. We got to talking. She’s pretty cool. I didn’t get her number though. I feeling a bit ill, so I just went to bed.

Dating in your late 20s can be tough. It’s hard for me because I’m what you call “mildly retarded” and “unattractive,” so I have to rely on other skills to pick up women.

I do have a secret. It involves tricking women to sleep with me. No, just kidding, it’s not that difficult. It’s called charm and wit. Also being a nice guy. Some girls dig that. But usually you have to be tall, white, and handsome. Fuck those fuckers.

(I guess I’m a little bitter too, but don’t tell anyone, it ruins my game)

So when people say they’re in the same boat, what does that really mean? My boat is about to dock. If they’re in the same boat, then they should be about to dock too… or theoretically, in my boat docking with me. And another phrase I don’t get, “there are plenty of fish in the sea.” We know that fish are going extinct, so are there still plenty to choose from? I don’t think so.

The short version of this is basically, where does it end? When do I stop docking and going out to sea? What the hell do I want? Everyone goes through this, but I’m sure I’m the only one who draws stupid comics to try and editorialize my thoughts with a JPEG. Well, Penny Arcade probably does that too, but they’re comics aren’t as stupid. I mean they have a whole expo devoted to their comic. What if I held my own I Heart Eddie seminar? That would be cool.

Anyway, I don’t really have anything to give anyone anymore. It’s all been taken away by women who have sucked me dry, taken my soul, and then kinda just let me effervesce in my own self pity. I just want things I can’t have. I could write a poem about it, but then I wouldn’t draw awesome comics like these since the words would illustrate my pain. That’s lame anyway. Everyone loves a good stick figure drawing.

This has happened to me… this can happen to you!

Wow. Went out with Sarah Sunday night. She was crunk.

2 dollar You Call Its at Moondoggies. That’ll do it.

Nikkee and I went out last night. While it wasn’t a date, it could have been worse.

I feel bad for her. I like her just the same though.